At the Seams

We all have those times, seasons in our lives that are so full. 

I have felt this way many times in my life. Not with only bad or good things, but just so full with life.  I consider it a blessing to have a full life and one of my favorite authors Carrie WIlkerson once said that “you are supposed to be tired at the end of the day, it's a sign of a life well lived.”   I have ongoing conversations with other moms, other business owners and clients who are experiencing the same thing. Life is going well, for the most part, it is however completely maxed out at times.  

Over the past year I have come to appreciate and acknowledge the importance of solitude, not as a luxury, but as a necessity.  We get tired. Burn out is the new buzz word in our culture, and for a very good reason, we never stop, but we need to pause but it feels out of reach.

When I talk to my mom friends, it is the attempt at balance.  Managing family, work (in and outside of the home for most), children, their spouse (or their ex), new adult concerns over aging parents, fitness, health, God, money, quiet time, sex and keeping/making new friends.  You name it and it could be on this list. What seems impossible is to take care of ourselves in the midst of it all or that we believe the lie that there is true balance, when maybe we should be aiming for better boundaries.

When I talk to my business friends, it is the attempt to scale and grow.  It is a privilege to know many local business owners and entrepreneurs in Kentucky and in the counseling field.  They are such a fun, adventurous, world changing group. The truth is that we you are starting, growing or maintaining a business it is incredible tough.  It may not look that way if you have never had the opportunity to venture into this realm, but there are constant stresses and worries that no one else really cares to hear about or understand.  My business pals face a tremendous amount of pressure and stress to provide not only for themselves but for their team as well. What is tough is keeping it all together and growing a business into your vision, and most of the time no one gets it.  

When I talk to my clients, it is “I don’t want to overwhelm my family and friends with processing the speed of life”.  Most of my clients are high functioning professionals. It is my honor to work with them and help them on their path. Many of them simply need a place to unload they need a place to process where they stand on things that are going on in their life.  Sometimes they need a trusted person to tell them when they are thinking about things in ways that are unnecessarily causing them stress or pain. 

When you at these places at the seams, here are three quick tips that may get you some relief.

#1 Take a break. 

When you are in the place that there is no end in sight take 30 minutes and do something slow.  Take a nap, take a bath, take a walk. Also, small breaks can increase your mental sharpness by about 13%.

#2 Realize it’s temporary.

Okay so as a therapist this is my way of saying, cut out the negative self-talk.  Often times when life is full (aka so stressed out) how we think about these times in our minds can make it worse.  Come up with a more positive way to think about the times that are more intense such as “life is full!” Science tells us that optimism is a strong weapon in the fight against stress.

#3 Ask for help.

Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our schedules and to do list that we totally miss the obvious.  Get some help. Ask you kids, your spouse, your family or friends to help you. You can even pay for someone to help.  For some of us asking for help at first may seem tough, but actually it can help you feel more connected and productive when you reach out.  

If you are in a place where your life is simply bursting at the seams and you need someone to walk with you through it, contact us at Compass Counseling.  We can teach you how to walk through busy and full times in life and avoid the traps that are unhealthy.  

Let us help you on your path to change. You can book an appointment for Paducah, Owensboro or Telehealth in Kentucky here.