Traditionally, men are not great communicators. They are more often associated with grunting cavemen than master communicators. When it comes to marriage, a lack of effective communication can lead to serious problems. Here are 5 tips to help men better communicate with their wives.
Many husbands have problems with listening. Instead of hearing what their wife has to say, they are distracted or formulating a response in their head. Active listening requires eye contact, some physical indication that you are paying attention (e.g., a head nod), and some form of comprehension. It is always a good idea to repeat back what you think you heard, so your wife knows you understand.
Besides asking for directions, there is nothing a man hates more than being vulnerable. Men don’t like to admit that they are less than perfect. They believe it displays weakness. Being vulnerable, however, takes much more strength than being guarded. Moreover, vulnerability will enhance communication with your wife. The more you share with your wife, the closer you will become. In addition, when she sees you being vulnerable, she will want to be more open with you.
Don’t Try To Solve Her Problems
Men are problem solvers. When a woman tells their husband about a problem he immediately begins to figure out the solution. Unfortunately for men, a solution is not what a woman requires. Woman want someone to acknowledge their issues, not attempt to solve them. Helping your wife find an answer is a nice gesture, but it should not be your primary focus. Exhibiting empathy toward your wife’s troubles will better satisfy her needs.
Talk Is More Important Than Action
Something you will rarely hear a husband say to his wife: “Let’s talk”. Men show women they care for them through actions. For example, they may buy them flowers or fix the toilet. Women, however, put more value in verbal communication. This is not to say women don’t appreciate acts of devotion, it is just an acknowledgment that they would rather feel emotionally supported than have you mulch the flower beds. Talking with your wife helps you fulfill her emotional demands and shows you are willing to go outside your comfort zone for the sake of the relationship.
Schedule Time for Conversation
Finding time to talk with your spouse can be difficult. We lead busy lives, with work, family, and other responsibilities. Although a man might be satisfied with a short discussion, a woman values a more in-depth conversation. This may require scheduling some time to talk when distractions are limited. Taking a half hour a week to discuss any issues that arise will help address problems in your marriage and prevent future conflict.
Husbands and wives can communicate in different ways. Men are often unaware as to the most effective way to express themselves. As a result, necessary issues are left unaddressed and the marriage suffers. Luckily, with a few tweaks in behavior, husbands can improve how they communicate with their wives.
Next Steps if Your Need Support
Men often struggle to talk about their problems, Scott Long, LPCC and therapist at Compass Counseling in Paducah finds ways to create a relaxed environment where clients feel confident to speak openly about their problems. If you need more support in learning about communication and changing behaviors you can contact us at Compass Counseling in Paducah at 270-777-4490 or in Owensboro at 270-215-4000. We also offer online counseling throughout the state of Kentucky.
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